There is more help out there than you probably realize! It starts with you picking up the phone and dialing the following numbers now:

NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

You can also find many resources on the internet that can provide you with immediate assistance. My favorite web sites are:

www.womenlawyers.com/domestic.htm - this is a great site that offers national and local help on many levels. It's organized and easy to use to provide you with local contact phone numbers you can use immediately.

www.safehorizon.org - while this site is New York based, they can directly help with counseling services and referring you to the resources you need for immediate help. What I like about this site is that they have a huge language bank that can help just about any women speaking any language.

Here are the things you can expect from these organizations:

Hotline numbers nationally and locally

If you are in a situation where you are afraid your abuser could use the computer to find out what you have been researching, you can use a computer at your local library. Get into GOOGLE ( www.google.com ) and type in: help for women of domestic violence. If you want to work at home many sites have ways to block out someone who is trying to spy on your computer activities by taking a few precautionary steps.

An excellent book on domestic violence is Surviving Domestic Violence – Voices of Women Who Broke Free by Elaine Weiss: You can sample some pages by clicking on the icon for Amazon.com.

Excerpt from: Congratulations on Your Divorce

***In an abusive situation you don't have to do anything except leave***

Abusive marriages present a whole different set of complicating circumstances. Physical abuse is dangerous and visible. Verbal and emotional abuse is not as visible but can be even more dangerous in the long term. On average, an abused woman leaves 7 to 10 times before permanently leaving a dangerous relationship. Many women go back to their abuser because they feel emotionally and financially trapped because they don't have a support system to help them out of their situation. The good news is that you can get help by tapping into the resources your community offers. There are many organizations that will help women of abuse. They can provide safety for victims including children who are the most undeserving victims. Many organizations have programs that teach women how to be self sufficient financially and emotionally so they can start a new life on their own terms.

Finding the help starts with your local phone book that includes the toll free number for the crisis information hotline. You will be given phone numbers of places in your area that can help you with shelter, food and counseling. Communities offer immediate emergency shelter but can also help you take the next step. If drugs are a problem there are rehab programs that provide counseling to help get you clean and sober. Many programs are designed to help you with a plan toward independence by guiding you on career choices, finances and improving self-esteem. While every state and community is different, there is help out there and getting it starts with dialing a few numbers. Picking up the phone can ultimately change your life for the better.

Counseling services may be offered at no charge or on a sliding fee schedule depending on your financial situation. Trained professionals can help you understand how the vicious cycle of abuse works which will help you look at your situation with open eyes. Knowledge is power and it will help to improve your confidence in who you are and what you can do to improve your life and protect your children. Taking these first few steps will help increase your self-esteem. With a stronger sense of self you will find the courage to stop compounding the damage that results from returning to your abuser.

No woman is immune from the possibility of physical or emotional abuse. Help is available to get information, resources and the courage to walk away and stand on your own two feet for good. You really can have a good life by ending a marriage that has you on terror alert twenty-four/seven; take the opportunity and make it happen. Often, the most difficult hurdle to overcome is admitting that your relationship is abusive in the first place.